Remember Me
by TakeAFlyer
Summary: When a coworker offhandedly comments on what could've been, Takagi is forced to face his biggest fear: what if he wasn't the one for Satou?
1. Haze

****Disclaimer**: **This work is completely fiction, not-for-profit, and is not intended to infringe on any rights by and of Gosho Aoyama and/or other entities involved with production of the Detective Conan franchise.

**Remember Me**

****Chapter 1: ****Haze

As a note, single quotes are thoughts. And the longer texts in italics are flashbacks.

* * *

:

Takagi replayed the event in his head over and over again, cringing every time he remembered Satou's hurt expression.

Yet at the same time he couldn't blame himself. He couldn't bear to be near her. After work he promptly turned his cell off and drove straight home, forgoing dinner altogether. He at least managed to take off shoes before collapsing onto his bed.

He was just too tired. His mind was strained and beginning to lose coherency. Thinking about this, about anything was too difficult.

_'Damn... Why did they have to bring that up during break today?'_

* * *

:

_"Yeah, still can't believe it."_

_"Neither can I actually…" Takagi said while grabbing the back of his neck, nervously laughing. _

_"Who'd think Takagi out of all people managed to snag her?"_

_"I definitely thought Shiratori had the greatest chance." _

_"But I heard he's dating some other chick… A teacher?"_

_Everyone in the circle began delving into chatter all with their own unique opinion. Takagi just wanted to stay silent. It was good enough they weren't trying to kill him for taking away Satou from everyone. _

_"But you know, you gotta wonder…" Inoue pondered, his loud voice and large frame commanding everyone's attention again. "What if, you know… HE was still around."_

_A solemn silence took a hold of the group, partly out of respect for their colleague; but mainly because at one point or another, everyone had once held that same thought. _

_Including Takagi._

_Matsuda Jinpei needed no introduction to anyone in the homicide division. He had sharp eyes, needed for his line of work in the bomb squadron. However when the serial bomber who took his partner's life resurfaced after several years, his superiors quickly transferred him to homicide. He was partnered with Satou, perhaps the only one who could reign in him in. And it was no secret to everyone, through their bickering Matsuda and Satou came to understand each other, that mutual respect even turning into love. _

_Yet before anything could progress further, Matsuda died on a case, by the same serial bomber he tried to apprehend in order protect innocent people. _

_The case finally settled when who other but Takagi had a major role to play in catching the elusive bomber. _

_The death hit everyone hard. Matsuda fit in with many of the officers and always spared a smoke for others. However no one was affected harder than Satou. She began to refuse partner after partner, clearly stating her preference to work alone. Yet that changed once Takagi got transferred in and got forcefully partnered with her. _

_The very person who caught her past love's murderer and her new partner... It was juicy story in the back of everyone's mind in the office._

_"C-come on guys, that's in the past. Satou san moved on from that." Takagi said that more to calm himself down. Whenver he thought about Matsuda he was somehow able to push him out of his thoughts.  
_

_Yet with all eyes on him, this time proved impossible. His insecurities lingered. His body began to feel heavy. _

_"Perhaps. But you can't help but wonder. Those two never did get together."_

_"Yeah."_

_"I remember Matsuda telling me how much of a pain Satou was, but I think that was just a term of endearment looking back on it."_

_"Those two were a good team." _

_Takagi stood there, his heart pounding loudly. His worst fears were gripping onto his heart. He began to feel dizzy. He didn't know what happened back then, but from what he heard… Everyone had a point. _

_"All I'm saying is that life is unpredictable. Who knew what could've happened if Matsuda lived..." Takagi seriously wanted to punch Inoue in the face.  
_

_"What's with the atmosphere around here?" The voice came from Yumi, who made her way to the near empty coffee pot. She always had a knack at appearing when something controversal came up in conversation. _

_The rest of the officers shifted about nervously… No one wanted to discuss the matter with one of Satou's closest friends. _

_Takagi, thankful for the reprieve in voices left immediately._

_"Hey! Takagi!" Yumi said wanting to chat with him for a moment. She was sure he heard her, but none-the-less he didn't bother to stop or spare a glance. "What's up with him?"_

:::

_Takagi reached his desk, unintentionally slamming his coffee mug on the surface. Droplets splashed all over his desk, on his sleeve, on all the documents sprawled about. _

_"Shit."_

_"Woah, let me help." Takagi knew who that was and for the first time ever, he unhappily groaned upon hearing Satou's voice.  
_

_"No. Don't bother. I'll handle it." _

_"O-Okay… Well once we finish with work we're getting dinner right?" Satou asked, trying to hide her confusion over Takagi's distance and harshness._

_"I… " Takagi sighed. "I'm not…. I can't.."_

_Satou grabbed Takagi's arm before he could walk away. He quickly yanked his arm away. Her very touch made him feel guilty. It reminded him of Matsuda. And then it hit him: he was living what Matsuda would've if he was still alive. _

_"Hey, what's going on?" She asked, slightly angry and confused. Takagi never acted like this.  
_

_"I just…" Takagi's voice rose in anger. Taking a moment he managed to lower his tone. Frustration clearly evident on his face. "Just don't come near me."_

_At that very moment Takagi felt as if his heart was shot. As much as he regretted his words, he couldn't must up the energy to say 'I'm sorry'. Anything he said wasn't worth for Satou to hear. _

_So he just walked away. _

* * *

:

_I'm so dumb. I shouldn't have snapped like that.'_ Takagi thought. He was laying face up staring directly into the light above him. Upon realization he was blinding himself, he covered his sight with arm. Every movement he made was out of frustration, and nothing he could do could make him feel better.

_'You're only like this because you know everyone is right. If Matsuda was alive, Satou would definitely be with him right now.'_

Everyone liked Matsuda. From what Takagi heard he was passionate about his work, and was good at it too. In comparison to himself, he could barely manage to do anything right. While Matsuda relied on his skill, it felt like he got by on luck.

In comparison to Matsuda, Takagi felt inferior. He ran a list of comparison between the two in his mind, only to come out as the loser every time.

_'Satou cares for me… She likes me…" _He repeated in his head over and over again. Trying to comfort his bleeding ego. Yet, his mind drifted towards the negatives again: How long had it been since they began to date? Heck, they probably wouldn't be together right now if he hadn't almost gotten shot through the heart.

_'She likes me... But she loved Matsuda.'_

Takagi yelled in frustration.

He looked at his alarm clock. It was 1:31._  
_

For the past three hours he had done nothing but wallow in guilt and self-pity.

_'Matsuda wouldn't do this. He was too cool for this._'

He glanced over to see his phone right next to the clock. For a split moment he thought about calling Satou.

Yet on the other hand his eyelids began to close and his fatigue became very noticeable. Was he tired? He couldn't tell. His face felt flushed, probably due to the alcohol he drowned down earlier. That was only thing that could get him out of bed at the moment.

He felt himself reaching towards the phone, but he couldn't remember anything else once darkness overtook him.

* * *

**A/N:** My first DC fic! I know I've seen some stories that have tackled this similar plot line, the whole: what if Takagi wasn't the one kind of theme, but here's my take on it. Despite the length and dialog, I hope Satou and Takagi appeared in character.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Foreign

:

Running up the stairs wasn't doing Takagi's muscles any favors, but if it meant arriving one minute earlier there was no other option if it would make Inspector Megure's scolding that much shorter. On the bright side, the exercise seemed to be lifting the rum induced haze clouding his brain. Yup, Takagi definitely decided to never drink mid-week again, the hangovers were ten times worse.

"Takagi!" He peered into the office to see Inspector Megure at his desk, waving him over… angrily. "You're late."

"I-I know. I'm sorry inspector."

"Would you tell me if you weren't?" It didn't help hearing everyone's snickers. Megure's yelling and public humiliation… Sadly it was a combination all too familiar to him. Takagi grimaced in anticipation for the next words but they never came. Instead he heard a slam of papers onto the desk. "Read these. It's a new robbery case. Once Satou kun gets back go with her to check the scene."

"He can read them in the car Inspector, I've been waiting around for too long." Satou's voice was snappy. She turned to him, definitely not pleased to see him. It looked like everyone was angry at him today (although for good reason). "Let's go."

She grabbed him by the arm, dragging him out of the office. Was this why Megure let him off, to get chewed out by his partner instead? This may be a worse fate. He saw Chiba hold up his coffee cup as a gesture of support in the back. It wasn't until they were in the elevator that she let go and circulation returned to his hand.

"I-I'm really sorry!" Everything came out at once. He never caught her expression because he was already bowing. "There was a lot on my mind yesterday and I took it out on you. I'm sorry for yelling, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Like hell I did something wrong. You went psycho yesterday, you know?" She still stood there with folded arms, eyeing him carefully. After a few moments she relaxed and sighed. "How can I stay angry after an apology like that?"

"I guess you can't… Hey!" She smacked him up the head.

"Now we're even." She smiled and her eyes twinkled, and for the first time today everything felt like it would be fine. "Are you really okay though? You definitely weren't yourself yesterday. And you even turned your cell off. I tried calling… Texting even…"

"Even though you were angry with me?"

"Even though I was angry. You're lucky to have such a great partner you know."

"Yeah… I am." He tried to reach out to touch her.

"H-hey, I get it. No need to get all serious on me." Satou shuffled a bit backwards, trying to diffuse the seriousness. It hurt a bit to think she would avoid him, but they were at work and she must've been a little angry still so Takagi let it go. "So hey, you're better now. No more freak outs?"

"Yeah, no more of those."

"Great because I actually need to talk to you."

"Uh sure, what's up?"

"I mean, I know I keep bugging you about this but you're the only one I can talk to. Yumi… Makes things more complicated. My mother… Well she was happy at first when I got engaged, but now she's starting to ask for the date. So I can't tell her about this."

_'I got engaged?'_

"Wait, what?" What kind of reality was this? Well at first Takagi was happy until he realized Satou wasn't talking about _their _engagement but _hers._ He would've known about something like this… right? He wasn't that dense with his love life (even if it took how long for them to start dating?). They never brought up marriage, but it was something he definitely liked to think about. He couldn't work up the nerve to talk about it to Satou though, not when she kept talking about that promotion she always dreamed of. And children? Well he kept those in his dreams as well.

He tried to think of anything that was off today, but everything was completely and utterly normal. The inspector yelled at him… Everyone laughed at him… The weirdest thing today, well it actually was him. Satou looked just the same with her pretty eyes and silky hair. She was even wearing the dark gray suit that looked really good on her.

"Hey Takagi? You're staring." She waved her hand in front of him, trying to catch his attention. He saw a glister of gold that snapped his pupils into focus. Without realizing it he reached out to grab her wrist. On her left ring finger was a beautiful platinum ring, inset with diamonds. It definitely wasn't the ring he gave her; it was nowhere near this beautiful. Although to be honest it looked a bit flashy for Satou's tastes.

"Oh… Sorry." If this was the case, they were definitely not dating. He let go of her hand quickly and stepped back until his back touched the wall. The distance between them felt like miles apart. "Okay, I-I'm listening."

"Well-" The floor stopped moving and the elevator dinged. For being an inanimate object, it sure was good at breaking up conversations. "Actually, why don't I tell you after work? You've got some files to read." Although even though she said that, neither of them left the elevator. It was only when the elevator doors started closing did they realize they stopped talking.

: : :

"Are you really okay Takagi?" He snapped to attention, but at this rate he was only zone out again. "It's a good thing I'm driving, you've been out of it since this morning. And how many times did you ask for the victim's name?" She pulled up in front of headquarters and parked the car. When Takagi didn't even move to unbuckle his seatbelt, she sighed.

"Don't move, I'm going to report back to Megure and tell him I'm taking you home. I think you need some sleep." It was only until she closed the car door did Takagi react.

"But who are you engaged to?" He called out to no one. This had to be a dream… But why did it feel so real? Why did it last so long? He thought if anything he'd wake up when Satou hit him in the elevator-she packed a punch and then some.

Desperately he reached for his phone to check the date: June 5th, yesterday was the fourth, nothing weird there. The screen still showed Satou's calls and texts, he hadn't even opened them yet. That morning he felt too guilty to respond back. If this was a dream… He had to wake up. He left to go to the bathroom and turned to the sinks. He pulled the faucet as far right as possible and cupped the ice-cold water that flowed out but no matter how many splashes he threw onto his face, he didn't wake up. The cold only stung his cheeks.

"There you are. I need to talk to you." That was definitely a voice Takagi never heard before… But why did it sound so friendly? Takagi looked up at the mirror… And there was Matsuda Jinpei standing in the flesh. Just there. Alive. "Yo."

"M-M-Matsuda… san?"

"Mind if we talk in the lobby? Here's kind of… Well you know."

Takagi took the nearest seat to him in the lobby just in time for his legs to give out.

"Here." Matsuda threw him a drink, but Takagi was nowhere near capable of catching it. He felt the can slip from his grip and fall to the ground.

"I'd uh, not open that you know. Here, just take mine." The sugary drink seemed to just coat Takagi's mouth. His throat strangely felt drier than before.

"You alright? Satou told me you weren't feeling well yesterday."

"I'm fine… I think."

"Okay. Well did she talk to you today about me?" Matsuda looked just like the pictures Satou showed him… His messy black hair, the strangely familiar features of his own, and even the sunglasses he wore were folded in his front pocket. And when he saw the ring on Matsuda's own hand, everything clicked.

"I-I mean she brought up the engagement…"

Matsuda combed back his hair-if the man was annoyed he certainly didn't show it. In fact even now he looked really cool.

"Look I don't normally ask people to do things for me but this will be my one exception. And we're friends right?"

_'Even though this is our first time meeting… sure." _

"You're the one who spends the most time with her-heck even more so than me most of the time. After I got transferred back to the bomb squad, you've been her partner so you're the only one I can ask. If she starts complaining about the engagement, just put in a good word for me alright? I know it's been three years but I think we'll be able to set a date soon. I finally caught a big break on the case."

"I… guess I can do that." Every word Matsuda said was another question for Takagi to ponder over. What case? Why did Satou and Matsuda having engagement issues? Was dating Satou only in his dreams? And heck, Matsuda was even alive?

"Thanks, look I got to go… Next time I treat you to a drink, it'll be at the bar, alright?"

"Huh, oh great, yeah... sure." Now Takagi's brain was done. Were there people passing by him? Probably, the lobby was a busy place. Were people looking at him strangely? Definitely. He felt like he was going insane by now-others should be concerned. Yet all he could do was sit there.

"Hey Takagi! I thought you'd wait in the car." Satou's voice snapped him back to reality. As she walked towards him, every moment with her flashed through his mind. How much of those memories were real? Which touches, which embraces, which kisses did she remember? If any?

"Anyways Inspector Megure said to take you home… I know I keep asking you this, but are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Uh… didn't I?"

* * *

**A/N: **This is not dead. This will be finished.

Thank you all for reading/continuing this, as slow as this update was.


	3. Allies

The sudden brightness felt like the sun. Everything was hazy and slowly faded into place. The tall looming figure beside him was actually his floor lamp. Then the familiar cream walls and hardwood floors filled his vision, so he was in his apartment. As he started regain cognition of earlier events, his head felt heavier. However the light flickering above him distracted him from piecing anything together correctly.

"Yumi… You can stop with the lights now, it looks like he's up." Was that Chiba? Slowly he sat up and saw his friend at his dining table, waving. And Yumi? She was here too?

"Aw don't look so disappointed Satou's not here. She had to finish up the work you left her." He saw Yumi by the light switch, giving it one last flick, "Instead you should thank your best friends who got you take out."

The mention of food made his stomach gurgle. Out of curiosity he peered around the corner and saw cartons of Chinese food. Steam escaped from the lid's folds. Craning his neck further he saw Chiba already eating some shrimp chow mein. He had to admit, they were luring him with some very tasty bait-but it wasn't enough to will himself out of bed.

"You guys eat. I'm just not in the mood." He waved Yumi away and pulled over his covers. His senses dulled with the stuffy darkness. However his mind ran rampant with thoughts of Satou's engagement, Matsuda's presence, and his own sanity. There really was no escape-by booze or sleep or will.

"Alright, that's it! You can't keep doing this." He heard Yumi say, but he only retreated into the cocoon further, "You're going to ignore me then?"

Yumi grasped onto the extra folds of fabric and pulled with all her might. Unexpectedly she was rewarded with her first tug and almost fell over. Takagi's grip was weaker than expected. He needed food if that was all the strength he had left. From what she could tell from his apartment, the last things he consumed lately were beer and… beer. There was even a bottle on his bed's edge, previously hidden by the covers. With a quick scan Yumi spotted a couple more bottles strewn about. And then there was Takagi himself, still trying to escape. His last defense was a pillow over his head with his body curled up.

As frustrated as Yumi was, she felt more sorry. Takagi was nice guy, many of her coworkers picked up on that. Some even requested her help to set up dates but she always declined. There was only one person for Takagi and she was taken… Well _technically_. And as both of their friends, she (and Chiba) decided, to make them realize how stupid both of them were. That's why she wasn't sorry when she signaled Chiba for Plan B.

With the silence, Takagi relaxed, perhaps Yumi finally gave up. They could go finish their sweet and sour fish without him, even if it did look really delicious. His thoughts were interrupted when he felt hands wrap underneath him, lifting him up in the air. "Sorry Takagi."

"Don't be Chiba, it's for his own good." He heard Yumi say, she was behind them, following them to who knew where. Before Takagi could make sense of what was going on, he felt something cool against his cheek and body. He opened his eyes and saw white-he was in his bathroom, his _tub_ to be exact.

And then he felt cold, ice cold water… and wet. His body jerked forward in reaction. He tried to use his arms as a shield, but the water only ran down to his body. Yumi kept changing angles, shocking his skin all over. His work clothes clung onto him heavily, making it hard to move around.

"You haven't been like this since their engagement." Yumi stood over him with the showerhead in hand. She didn't stop the water flow, but only raised her voice. Chiba only looked on, looking slightly worried, "Satou's been worried. She keeps sending me messages like 'is he okay?' or 'did I do something?' every hour."

"Takagi." Chiba said. He gestured for Yumi to turn off the water. He was never a confrontational person, but he was a friend. Even if all this seemed dramatic,.. It was for Takagi's own good, "You're not happy Satou's with Matsuda san, right?"

"Right."

"Then why don't you do something about it?" The suggestion sounded so simple it made Takagi pause.

"She's engaged!"

"But not married." Yumi snapped back.

"He's her first love!"

"So that's it for her then?"

"But she's happy!"

"… Is she really?"

"What do you mean?"

"Have you listened to her? Do you remember what she's said about the engagement?" Takagi tried to piece together what he remembered. Satou and Matsuda were engaged for the past three years. Satou stopped him in the elevator with something to say about it. Matsuda also, pulled him away in the lobby for his help. What was their problem, if they had one? Did it involve Matsuda trying to solve a case? If they were perfect for each other, why would they even have these issues?

"Well I know there's something on her mind, but I don't know any specifics."

"It's because you weren't listening. As long as you keep reassuring Satou everything's going to be okay and fixing their relationship, you'll be stuck as their couple's counselor."

"When have I done that?" Takagi asked, curious to discover his past actions.

"Like when you drove Satou to her dates after work? Or giving Matsuda gift suggestions?" Remembering that much made Yumi sigh in frustration, "Don't you want to be with Satou?"

"I do!"

_And I am!_

No actually he wasn't. Not with her. Not now.

"Then why do you keep pushing them together? Even if it means you'll be unhappy?"

Even if being with Satou was an illusion, he couldn't forget anything. He was always worried about Matsuda, even before they dated. Matsuda was the biggest 'what if' for Satou and why it took time for them to confirm their feelings for another. As happy as he was when he went steady with Satou, it was mixed with guilt. Did he make her happy like Matsuda? What did Matsuda know about her that he didn't?

"Because… I don't deserve her."

The brutal honesty of his response stunned Yumi. She knew Takagi felt like this, it was why he let things go. It was like when he solved a case, but let another officer take credit for it. In the end the other officer got an award and through that whole event Takagi only smiled. He reasoned that as long as the case was solved, whoever solved it didn't matter. In the end, it was those who suffered that were more important.

"Well can I ask this then? Do you believe you belong with Satou?" Chiba threw Takagi a towel, but he made no effort to dry himself off.

Did he? Takagi recalled every moment he could remember with Satou. There were the times when they filled out paperwork at the end of the day. If it got really late they would grab dinner at a convenience store-where everything was near expiration date and half off. Then he would drive her home, or vice versa depending on who was more tired.

Or when they had stakeouts, they would spend hours together. It was during those times he learned a lot about her. Like how red was her favorite color or how she liked reading Lupin III. Other times they would be silent for hours, concentrating on their target. However it wasn't uncomfortable not talking, it actually felt reassuring. He didn't feel like he had to explain himself to her. She just… Knew him. The only times they touched was when their fingers brushed when they passed the binoculars. Those times together and chaste touches were just as important to him as their intimate moments. It was then when he looked at her, kissed her, and touched her did he realize-she was the only one for him.

"Yes." He looked up at them. If there was anything he was sure of, this was it, "I just want what's best for Satou, whether that's me or Matsuda san."

"Well! That's better than you being mopey. Now if that's how you feel, then why don't you find out for yourself who's better for Satou?"

"… Alright, I'll try." Whatever the answer was, at least now he felt prepared to accept it. He started to dry off when Chiba's phone started ringing.

"Oh, is that Naeko chan? I told her to finish up the accident report when I left, should she be done by now?" Yumi grinned. Chiba almost dropped his phone as he received the call. However the smile on his face turned as the conversation lengthened. Then Yumi's phone rang as well. When they hung up Chiba turned to him.

"You're feeling better now, right?" Takagi nodded and Chiba tossed a clean work suit to him, not casual clothes.

"That was Inspector Megure. There's been a car bombing."

* * *

**A/N: **It's updated, woooo! Hopefully it's lived up to your expectations after such a delay. So far I have a rough outline of how the story will go, from what I have now it will be about 8-10 chapters? Just to give everyone an idea of what to expect.

Sorry for the long delay but thank you for returning to the story!

And if this is your first time reading, thank you as well!


End file.
